Have Yourself a Miserable Little Christmas?
by firefly5151
Summary: Sara is having a miserable Christmas until a visitor arrives. GSR Please read and review!
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Have Yourself a Miserable Little Christmas?

**Author**: Firefly5151

**Summary**: Pure holiday fluff. Sara's having a miserable Christmas until a visitor arrives. GSR

**Disclaimer**: Are these still necessary? I don't own CSI or the characters. I just like having fun with them.

**A/N:** This didn't actually start off as a Christmas story and wasn't supposed to be this long. But my one little idea blew up into this. I guess that's what happens when I don't write a story in order. Takes place after Butterflied. I wasn't sure when in the year the episode took place, or what the work hours for graveyard, swing, and days are since they have never been officially mentioned, so I took some liberties with them. I hope I didn't go OOC too much.

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The colorful glow of Christmas lights, bathing everything in hues of red, blue, orange, and green, was the only thing lighting up the living room in Sara Sidle's apartment this Christmas Eve. A Chinese take-out carton, chop sticks, empty sauce packets, fortune cookie crumbs along with its fortune, and a half-empty beer bottle all from lunch hours ago, were scattered across her coffee table. It was only 5:30, but on the sofa, Sara lay curled up in her pajamas under a fleece blanket, just staring at her Christmas tree; watching the lights twinkling.

She didn't know why she had even bought the Christmas tree. She wasn't in the mood for the holiday at all. She hadn't been in years. But two weeks ago, as she passed the freshly cut trees with their pine scent wafting through the air outside the home improvement store, she bought one on impulse. She had always loved the smell of Christmas trees. It reminded her of all the exciting and magical Christmases she had when she was a child, before things started to go bad.

As she lay on her sofa, with a tear slowly making its way down her face to land on her pillow to join the others, she wished she could go back to those times; a time when she was happier. She wasn't happy any more. She hadn't been for many months. When she moved to Las Vegas four years ago, she thought she could never be happier. But like most of the other things in her life, things changed for the worse.

Various things had caused her unhappiness over the years, and she could learn to live with them. But an admission from Grissom about seven months back caused her the most pain. And it was a pain she wasn't sure she wanted to learn to live with.

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tbc 

I know this chapter is short. I promise they all won't be. I would love to hear your reviews and feedback?


	2. Chapter 2

Grissom was seated in the interrogation room at the Las Vegas Police headquarters questioning Dr. Lurie for the murders of Debbie Marlin and Michael Clark. Sara walked into the viewing room, after her shift ended, to watch the end of the interrogation. She wanted to know what was going on with the case since Grissom left her out of the majority of it. And she was hoping she'd get some idea why he was acting the way he was. She definitely wasn't expecting to find out what she did.

When she first got in the room, her eyes were immediately drawn to Grissom. Catherine was definitely right when she said Grissom had been working too long on the case. He was slumped in his chair wearing the same clothes from the day before, and looked utterly exhausted. But she really wasn't surprised. Like her, Grissom would work on a case for as long as it took. And if he got emotionally involved in the case, even though he would deny he ever did, he would keep going until it was solved. Even if it meant not getting any sleep for days.

As Sara stood at the two-way mirror half listening to Brass, she wondered why Grissom was so involved in the case. It wasn't about domestic abuse, child abuse, or drugs. It was just a victim who bore a similar resemblance to herself. But if she would admit it, Debbie Marlin did look like she could be her twin.

She watched as Dr. Lurie got up from the table and headed towards the door. Then Grissom began to speak softly. She didn't pay too much attention to what Grissom was saying at first, since she was more interested in Dr. Lurie. But something Grissom began to say caught her attention and she began to study him instead, listening intently to what he was beginning to reveal.

'Somebody young and beautiful shows up. Somebody we could care about. She offers us a new life with her, but we have a big decision to make, right? Because we have to risk everything we've worked for in order to have her. I couldn't do it…but you did.'

Sara was in shock at Grissom's admission. It confirmed what Catherine had hinted at earlier in the day. She had a feeling that Grissom felt something for her, and now she knew the truth. He did care about her, but he would never act on it. Watching him sigh as Dr. Lurie left the interrogation room, her emotions turned from shock to sadness and her eyes started to sting. She needed to get out of that room fast before anyone saw her. She quickly ran to her car and drove home as the tears that were threatening to fall earlier, began to spill down her cheeks.

Discovering that she could never get what she wanted and needed the most from Grissom, she decided to make a change in her life, at least temporarily, until she was able to sort things out. She had to seriously think about what she wanted to do with her life.

She knew she needed to get away from him for a few months. Seeing him every day wouldn't help her sort things out. But she didn't want to leave the Las Vegas Crime Lab or Las Vegas. True, she had come to Vegas because of one man's wishes, but she had also grown attached to her co-workers and the city. She wouldn't be able to leave them, even for a few months.

A few days after Grissom's conversation with Dr. Lurie, Sara made her decision. She would meet with Ecklie to see if she could switch shifts with someone else at the lab. But first she had to talk with Grissom and let him know what she was doing. Even if he didn't show it, she knew he would be angry if she went straight to Ecklie.

Meeting with Grissom had been one of the hardest things she had to do since joining the crime lab. She didn't want him to find out that she overheard his conversation a few days back, or reveal too much about her why she wanted to switch, so she had to come up with some other reasons to tell him. She also had to make sure her emotions didn't seep out into their conversation.

Luckily their talk went better than she expected. As she sat in a chair across from him in his office, she tried to read his expressions. She didn't know what type of reaction she'd see in Grissom, but she noticed that he seemed a little relieved after she told him her plan. She walked out of his office hurt, but really didn't expect anything else since she now knew how he felt. Maybe she was hoping he'd try to stop her. She just didn't know what to think anymore.

Two days later Sara met with Ecklie. Unsure of what his response would be, she was surprised when he gave her the go ahead to switch with someone from swing shift. 'A way to broaden your career path and promotional opportunities,' he said. 'And a chance to work with a real CSI supervisor.' Ecklie was pleased with Sara's request to switch shifts, even if it was only temporary. He always wanted to separate Gil and Sara. They were too much alike. Maybe the switch would become permanent.

Everyone from graveyard found out about Sara's new assignment on her last day working with them. They were sad to see her go, but knew they'd see each other often. As Sara left the crime lab that morning to go home, she couldn't keep the tears from falling down her face. It wasn't like she was leaving for good and never going to see anyone again; she just wouldn't see them as much. But for some reason, it felt like she was quitting.

For the first two months in her new assignment, Sara thought the switch was great. She finally got to know everyone on her new shift and was learning many things from her current supervisor. Work was becoming enjoyable again. It was something she hadn't experienced in a while and it reminded her why she chose criminalists as her profession many years ago. She was also trying hard to sort out her life and feelings for a man who would never return those feelings.

As the months went by, she began to realize how much she missed Nick, Warrick, Catherine, Greg, and Brass. No longer did they go out for breakfast after shift or just hang out. They were starting to loose touch with her. They'd see each other in the halls in passing every once in a while or get together maybe once a month, but it wasn't the same.

She had even noticed a change in her feelings for Grissom. She didn't think about him all the time; hardly at all actually. It was the one thing she counted on happening while she was on swing shift. Not seeing him every day had lessened her feelings for him. Or so she thought.

At the request of Ecklie, and once by Catherine, Sara was required to work on graveyard a few times during the past six months.

Her first shift with graveyard, after being gone for two months, went fairly smooth. The first time Nick, Greg, Warrick, Brass, and Catherine saw Sara they all gave her a hug, said they were glad to see her again, and wanted to know when she was coming back home. Whenever they had free time, they wanted to catch up with each other's lives and see how she was doing. Grissom, however, ignored her and holed himself in his office, only talking to her when he needed her. He never said hi, that he was glad to see her, or wanted to know how it was working for swing shift. He was pure business.

Sara went home after that shift and thought about her reactions and feelings she had while working with graveyard. She realized she missed her friends, and was beginning to feel nothing for Grissom.

She had worked with graveyard two more times since then and everything was the same as her first visit. Her last shift with graveyard, though, after not having worked with them for over three months, was different.

On her way to work, about a mile from the lab, she spotted Grissom's car behind her. For some reason she began to get lightheaded, had butterflies in her stomach, and her arms, legs and feet felt like they were made of jello. She actually didn't know how she made it inside the lab once she arrived because her body felt so weak.

Throughout the shift, all her co-workers acted like they did when she was really assigned to graveyard, but Grissom seemed different and she couldn't place exactly what it was. At the start of shift, when she headed to the break room for assignments, she hadn't had a chance to step fully into the room before Grissom acknowledged her. And after handing out assignments, he even asked how things were going on swing. While in the locker room getting ready to leave at the end of shift, Grissom had even said goodbye to her. He said more to her that one day than he had the entire week before she went to swing.

Sara went home and thought about that day and wondered what it all meant. Especially her reaction in the car when she saw Grissom driving behind her. In the end she decided it meant nothing. However, every time since then when she caught a glimpse of Grissom in the hallways when either she was coming or going, her body would respond in the same way. It was then that she realized her true feelings for Grissom. Too bad he would never return those feelings she felt for him.

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tbc


	3. Chapter 3

Mentally blaming the holiday for her current mood, Sara wiped away a stray tear that began its slow decent down her cheek. Her thoughts turned away from Grissom and graveyard to Christmas.

While working in San Francisco she always got together with her friends at Christmas. They'd go out to dinner and exchange gifts. Everyone who was unattached or didn't have family in the area would even spend Christmas Eve together and sometimes Christmas Day. When Sara first moved to Las Vegas, the cards and gifts were exchanged by mail of course, but she did miss getting together with her friends.

With those thoughts, she looked over at her stack of mail accumulating on the corner of her desk. There wasn't a single card or gift from any of her friends, even though she sent them all something a few weeks prior. It was all bills and junk mail. She realized that over the years the friends she thought she'd have forever were disappearing.

She knew she should have come to the conclusion sooner when they stopped calling or writing her and when they never returned any of her phone calls, emails, or letters. They did try to get together every once in a while when she first left, but that stopped as well.

So much for having any friends outside of work, she thought.

Christmas on swing shift had been nothing to brag about this year either. The entire team went out for dinner a week ago to celebrate the holiday, and Ecklie picked up the tab. The lab was semi-decorated for the holiday and Christmas cards could be seen here and there, but there were no gift exchanges or Christmas parties that she was aware of. There was no feeling of Christmas at all. Some people on swing did bring in holiday bags filled to the brim with treats and handed them out to everyone on shift. But she never received anything. Her thoughts that they didn't see her as part of their team were becoming crystal clear. She wasn't one of them, even if she had worked with them for over six months. She was being treated like an outsider.

When she had worked on graveyard, she always looked forward to Christmas at the lab. It was the only place where she felt happy about the holiday. Greg would brew a special blend of coffee to share with everyone the week of Christmas, Christmas music would be played throughout the lab, gifts and cards would be exchanged, and there was always a Christmas party at someone's home, usually Catherine's, a few days before Christmas Eve.

A nice dinner would be brought in before start of shift on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, compliments of Grissom. It was his way of celebrating the holiday with his team while they had to work. Sara always worked both Christmas Eve and Day since she had no family to celebrate the holiday with. It made the holiday more enjoyable and actually gave her something to look forward to.

Well, it was Christmas Eve and she hadn't experienced any of the graveyard festivities. While she was working late a week ago, she had overhead Brass talking with Grissom about their Christmas party at Catherine's house. She wasn't invited. She was upset after learning about the party and only hoped no one noticed her disappointment.

At the end of her shift that same day, she left gifts for her friends. She even had one for Grissom.

When she left the lab yesterday, she hadn't received a single gift, card, or even a thank you from anyone. It was like they wanted nothing to do with her since she didn't work with them anymore. True, she was officially assigned to swing shift temporarily, but she thought she had formed a friendship that would go beyond work assignments. She now knew that she thought wrong. She didn't have any friends in Las Vegas…or anywhere else for that matter.

This Christmas would be miserable and there was nothing she could do about it. To top it off, three days ago Ecklie told her to take both Christmas Eve and Day off since she maxed out on overtime for the month. That meant she had to spend today and tomorrow, two of the worst days of the year, completely alone.

Tired of fighting the flood of emotions she was feeling, she wrapped the blanket closer to her body, buried her face in her pillow and finally allowed herself to cry.

After a few minutes, she heard her doorbell. She lifted her head out of the pillow and tried to calm herself down, but she couldn't fight the sobs wracking her body. She hoped that whoever was at the door would leave.

The doorbell rang again followed by knocking a little while later. Sensing the person wasn't going to leave, Sara took a deep breath and tried to stop crying as she wiped away the tears that were streaming down her face.

When she rose off the sofa to head to the door, she started shivering. She grabbed the blanket, wrapped it around her shoulders, and slowly walked to the door. She glanced at her thermostat on the way and wondered if she should turn on her heat when she saw it read fifty six degrees. She shrugged and continued to the door.

With the blanket wrapped tightly around her shivering body, she unlocked her front door and with a shaky hand, opened it up. As soon as she saw the figure on the other side of the door, a few tears started to fall again and she quickly wiped at her eyes.

Standing outside her door dressed in black pants, a dark green shirt under a light brown suede jacket, and wearing a Santa hat, was Grissom. In one of his hands were two paper grocery bags and in the other a beautifully wrapped Christmas present.

"Merry Chris…" Grissom began, but stopped immediately when he noticed that Sara was in blue and white snowflake flannel pajamas, her once bright chocolate-brown eyes were red and puffy, and tears were falling down her face faster than she could wipe them away. "Sara, what's wrong?" he asked, very concerned for the brunette standing in front of him.

"Nothing. I…I was…I…" she took a deep breath and was struggling to stop crying. She wasn't completely successful as tears continued to trickle down her cheeks.

Grissom quickly removed his Santa hat, set the items in his hands on the floor just inside Sara's front door, and placed his hands on her shoulders to guide her to the sofa. "Sara, did something happen?" He could feel her trembling as he sat down next to her on the sofa. "Why are you shaking?" he asked, thinking she was hurt.

"I'm…I'm just cold," she said softly. It was the only thing she was able to say at that moment. Her emotions were too raw to say anything else.

With all his thoughts on her, Grissom watched as Sara shivered next to him on the sofa. The past few months without her on graveyard, he began to realize what he felt for her. He would go in to work every night and feel like a part of him was missing. And the feeling wouldn't stop once he left the lab. He wasn't the same at home anymore either. His thoughts were always on Sara. He had slowly come to the conclusion that he needed her in his life. He would even go so far as to say he loved her.

Even though he was completely and utterly terrified, Grissom needed to express what he was feeling and to show Sara he did care about her. He opened up his arms in a silent suggestion for her to get closer to him. "Come here."

Sara didn't move or look at him. She just pulled the blanket tighter around her, and wiped the tears from her face. It was too painful having him in her apartment right now. She thought if she just ignored him, he would go away.

"Sara, please. Come here," he said again, softly. Seeing she wasn't going to budge, he removed the blanket from around her shoulders, shifted closer to her so he could pull her to him, and then wrapped the blanket around both of them.

Through the thin flannel of her pajamas, Grissom could feel how tense and cold she was. He started to gently rub her arms, trying to generate some warmth. He felt her slowly begin to relax.

At the uncharacteristic move from Grissom, all of Sara's thoughts went back to his declaration while questioning Dr. Lurie months ago. She was soon reliving the pain of that day in the interrogation room all over. She began to cry yet again; her body trembling from crying and being so cold.

Grissom had never seen Sara so upset before and he was beginning to get very worried. He hoped nothing bad had happened to her. He pulled her closer to him and tried to comfort her. "Shh. Everything will be okay Sara," he said soothingly.

At his words she turned and buried her face into his chest while continuing to cry. She knew it wouldn't be okay. Nothing would ever be okay. She began to cry uncontrollably when his arms tightened around her and she realized how relaxed and safe she felt.

It hurt Grissom so much to see Sara like this, and to not know the cause of her pain. He felt he should be doing more, but didn't know what else to do. So he just held her in his arms, rocking her gently, and tried to comfort her and reassure her that everything would be okay.

About five minutes later, Sara's crying had subsided. She slowly removed the blanket that was over them and moved to the other side of the sofa. "I…I'm sorry Grissom," she sniffed. She wiped at her eyes and looked down at her hands.

Noticing that Sara was still trembling, he took the blanket and wrapped it around her shoulders. And letting his arm stay draped over her, he sat down next to her. "Hey, there's no reason to be sorry," he said tenderly, giving her shoulder a squeeze.

Grissom's actions continued to surprise Sara. After her somewhat embarrassing display, he was still sitting there and looking like he wasn't going to be leaving anytime soon. He wasn't running away. He was there trying to comfort her. It was so un-Grissom like. She wiped at a few stray tears and looked up at him. "Thank you," she said, weakly.

Grissom gave a small smile as a reply. "Are you okay?" he asked, his blue eyes meeting her brown ones. "Is it something you want to talk about it?"

"I'll be fine…eventually." Her last word almost a whisper

He could hear the hurt in her voice. "Okay. But if you want to talk, let me know. I'll be here."

"Thanks Grissom."

A few seconds passed and Sara's eyes moved to the items by the front door. "Um…can I ask why you're here?"

"Oh. Yeah." He got up and took off his jacket, placing it on the arm of the sofa. He then realized how cold it was in the apartment. "Why is it so cold in here?"

Sara shrugged in response.

Grissom walked over to the thermostat and after noticing the heat wasn't even on, he turned it on and went back to the sofa. "Before I tell you why I'm here, I want you to change in to something warmer. And let me grab a few more things from my car."

Grissom's presence in her apartment and his concern were really unexpected. She could only stare at him with her mouth slightly open. She felt his hand on her arm pulling her off the sofa, and then gently pushing her towards her bedroom. "Okay" she said quietly.

Grissom watched as she slowly went to her room and closed the door behind her. He sighed and then headed out to his car.

He understood how much Sara hated Christmas and why she always spent the holiday working. He knew this year must be torture for her. After he found out Ecklie told her she had to take off today and tomorrow, he knew he had to do something. He took the days off as well…a first in his career with the crime lab. He didn't want to spend the holiday without her.

After Sara changed into sweats and an LVPD sweatshirt, she went to the bathroom to splash some water on her face and brush her hair. Standing in front of the sink, she looked at her reflection in the mirror. She couldn't believe Grissom would still want to stay even though she looked like hell. She sighed and walked back out to the living room.

Grissom opened the door to Sara's apartment carrying a casserole dish in one arm and two grocery bags in the other. He placed the items in her kitchen and went back to the door to pick up the things he left there when he first got to her apartment.

"What's all this for?" Sara asked, eyeing everything on her counter.

Grissom turned on Sara's oven. "I knew you had the day off." He turned around to face Sara and shrugged. When he saw her eyeing him quizzically, he gave a smile and grabbed the Christmas present on the counter. "For later," he said and he went to place the gift under her tree.

Standing in her kitchen, Sara watched him set the blue and silver package under the tree. It was then that she remembered there were no other presents for her under there.

Grissom got up and glanced at Sara. Seeing the sad expression on her face, he followed her gaze back to the Christmas tree. He then noticed his was the only present under her tree.

He walked back in to the kitchen while Sara tried to discretely wipe away a few tears. "Why don't you put on a Christmas CD while I get things ready for dinner?" he asked as he began unloading the paper bags.

"I don't have any," she said sadly, totally missing his mention of dinner.

Grissom looked at her with concern. He searched the bags he brought and pulled out a few CDs. "Here," he said as he handed her the Christmas CDs. "Put one of these on."

Sara tentatively took the CDs from his outstretched hand and looked from them up to him. "Why are you here?" she asked again softly.

"I'm making dinner," he said nonchalantly.

"Oh." She looked back down at the Christmas music in her hand. "But why?"

"Because it's Christmas Eve," he stated. "Now go put on the music." He gave her a smile and turned around to get things ready for dinner.

Sara slowly walked to her CD player in a daze and put on the music. The reason Grissom being in her apartment not sinking in quite yet.

She turned around and went back to the kitchen. She smiled genuinely for the first time that night as she saw Grissom, wearing the Santa hat, dancing to _Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree_ as he was working on dinner.

Grissom looked up, and glad to see Sara looking a little happy, returned the smile. "Could you point me in the direction of your plates and glasses so I can set the table? Dinner should be ready in about a half an hour."

Sara, a little stunned at his request, gave her reply. "The plates and glasses are in the cabinet by the sink, and the silverware is in the drawer next to the dishwasher."

"Thanks Sara." He stopped what he was doing and put his hand on her arm and gently pushed her to the living room. "Why don't you go sit down on the sofa and relax. I'll let you know when dinner's ready."

"Okay," she said quietly, and made her way to the living room. She saw the mess on her coffee table and decided to clean that up first.

Forty minutes later Grissom called Sara for dinner. Not getting a response, he walked into the living room. She had fallen asleep on the sofa. He gently woke her up and they headed to the kitchen, his hand on her elbow. "Merry Christmas Sara!"

Sara gasped as she took in the sight before her eyes. Her kitchen table was draped in a deep red and green plaid table cloth and at one end of the table in the center was a gold pillar candle, with its flame flickering, surrounded by dark green holly. The plates were set out next to each other and in the center of them were matching plaid napkins surrounded by gold jingle bell napkin rings. Crystal glasses, which Grissom had found in the back of one of Sara's cabinets, were filled with sparkling champagne. In the center of the table, an Italian dinner; complete with spinach stuffed manicotti, a Caesar salad, and garlic bread.

"Grissom, I didn't…I never…" she looked at him, too surprised to speak. "I don't know what to say. I never would have thought…" She immediately wrapped her arms around Grissom and gave him a big hug. "Thank you so much."

He pulled back, hands dropping to her waist, and looked her in the eyes. "You're welcome. After I found out you had the day off, I didn't want you to celebrate the holiday alone."

He helped her into her chair and then served them both their dinner.

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tbc


	4. Chapter 4

Later that night while Grissom was drying the last of their dishes, he pointed to a bag on the floor and asked Sara to put in the movie he brought.

Sara glanced at the clock and then looked at him questionably. "Isn't it late for a movie? Don't you want to go in to work early tonight?"

"For what? Remember, I didn't want you to spend the holiday alone?"

"Yea, I guess," she said sadly. He was only there tonight because he didn't want her to be alone. He felt sorry for her, she thought. The holiday was becoming depressing again for her.

She hesitantly retrieved the DVD from the bag and went to the living room, glancing at the title on the way. _It's a Wonderful Life._ Yeah right, she thought. For who? Definitely not me.

Grissom noticed the change in Sara's demeanor. He put the last of the dishes away and joined her on the sofa, sitting on the opposite side. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she said shortly, looking at the movie in her lap.

"Sara,"

She let out a deep sigh. "I'm sorry. I…It's just..." She stopped and tried to collect her thoughts. "I think you should leave," she said quietly.

"Why?"

Her misery and anger were beginning to appear. She got off the sofa and went over to stare out the window. "Look Grissom, the holiday is bad enough as it is without me being able to work through it. I don't need to spend the time with someone who's only here because they feel sorry for me. I'd rather spend the holiday alone and miserable."

"Sara, I'm not here because…"

She cut him off. "No Grissom." She dropped her head. "Just please go," she said desperately, her voice catching on the words.

"Sara, look at me," he said tenderly. Getting no response, "Please?"

She tentatively turned around and met his eyes. He was shocked to see the disappointment and sadness in them. "Sara, I'm not here because I feel _sorry_ for you. I'm here because I want to _be_ with you."

Sara held Grissom's gaze until his words sunk in. When she started back towards the sofa, he got up and took the candle from the kitchen and brought it into the living room and turned off all the lights on the way back; the Christmas tree lights providing a comforting glow. "Why don't you get comfortable? I'll go ahead and start the movie."

"There's not enough time for you to watch the movie. You have to be at work in an hour."

"No I don't. I took the night off."

"You took the night off?" she said in bewilderment. In all the years she'd known Grissom, he had never once taken the holiday off.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"I didn't want to spend the holiday without you."

She quickly turned her head to face him and saw the seriousness in his eyes.

He gave her a shy smile. "Oh, and before I forget to tell you when I leave tonight, Greg gave me some of his holiday blend coffee and Catherine gave me some homemade cinnamon rolls with cream cheese frosting for you to enjoy tomorrow morning. They're in the bag on the counter."

"Thanks Grissom. Tell them I said thank you when you see them tomorrow."

"I will," he said a little mischievously. "Now, for the movie." He pressed the play button on the remote, and after setting it on the coffee table, he got a little closer to Sara.

About thirty minutes into the movie, Grissom quietly got up from the sofa and grabbed the blanket that was placed on the desk chair earlier. He sat back down on the sofa, this time right next to Sara, and draped the blanket over the two of them.

Blaming it on the fact that all her nights of not getting enough sleep were catching up with her or that she felt safe and warm sitting so close to Grissom, Sara began to feel drowsy. A little while later her eyelids began to get extremely heavy. Not wanting to fall asleep, she would jerk herself awake as soon as her eyes would close.

At the movement next to him, Grissom glanced over and seeing Sara struggling to stay awake, gave a small chuckle and smiled. He was tired as well, having just finished up working almost three days straight on a high profile case. But he wasn't going to leave Sara's house yet. He wanted to spend Christmas Eve with her and that meant he was going to stay there until the day was over or until she went to bed, whichever came first. And technically, he told himself, she hadn't gone to bed yet. He yawned and returned his attention to the movie.

After a while, Sara's exhaustion won and she fell asleep, her head falling slightly to land on the side of Grissom's arm near his shoulder. He slowly moved his arm to the back of the sofa while trying not to wake her, and got a little closer to her. He gently pulled her to him and let her rest her head on his chest. He fixed the blanket over them, wrapped his arm around her and whispered good night. He couldn't keep the smile off his face. This was why he didn't want to leave earlier.

Two hours later, the TV was displaying the main menu for _It's a Wonderful Life_ with the music repeating over and over. The candle on the coffee table had extinguished itself out.

Sara awoke suddenly and was surprised to find herself on the couch under a blanket with her head on Grissom's chest, his head resting on top of hers and his arm around her. She could tell he was asleep; he was snoring softly. She stayed there for a few minutes with a smile on her face, enjoying the closeness. It felt like a dream. She began to wonder if he changed his mind about her. Right now at this very moment, it seemed like he did.

After yawning for the fifth time in two minutes, Sara decided to go to bed. She carefully removed herself from Grissom's embrace and got up off the sofa. As she did, Grissom began to slide down the sofa to where she had been sitting. She helped him lie down comfortably, without waking him.

Earlier she had noticed how exhausted he looked while getting their dinner ready, and decided to let him sleep. It was really late and she didn't have the heart to wake him up and send him home. Quietly walking to her bedroom, she grabbed a blanket and went back out to the living room.

She grabbed the pillow that was on the other end of the sofa and gently placed it under his head. She removed the blanket that was over him and covered him with both blankets. Grabbing the remote from the table, she turned of the TV and DVD player. Getting brave, she leaned over and gave him a quick kiss on the forehead. "Thank you so much Grissom. Good night."

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tbc


	5. Chapter 5

Grissom slowly began to wake up later that morning. He yawned and when he opened his eyes, he tried to remember where he was, since he knew he definitely wasn't in his bed at home. He looked around and then remembered watching a movie with Sara. He then noticed the pillow he was laying on and the extra blanket and wondered why Sara didn't wake him so he could go home.

He sat on the sofa for a few minutes until he was fully awake. Deciding to continue his Christmas plans for Sara this morning instead of later, he got up and quietly went to his car, glad he decided to leave the stuff in the backseat. He came back in with a big bag in his hands. Pulling out various items from the bag, he found what he was looking for. A beautiful, red, plush Christmas stocking with 'Sara' and a butterfly on each side of her name, stitched on to the fluffy white trim on top.

He began filling up the stocking with fruit, a little bit of candy, a gift card to her favorite tea and coffee house, and other various trinkets. He took the stocking and did his best to hang it up on Sara's breakfast bar, since she didn't have a fireplace. Satisfied, he went back to the bag and pulled out a rather large gift bag and placed it under the tree. The tag read, _To: Sara From: Santa Claus. _Before getting up, he looked at the gift he placed there last night, and reread its tag. _Merry Christmas Sara, Love Gil_. A huge smile formed on his face at the sentiment. The only time in his life when he wrote the word love, was on things for his mother.

Getting up, he went to the kitchen to start brewing the coffee Greg had given him, and turned on the oven to warm up the cinnamon rolls.

Smelling brewing coffee, Sara woke up. She knew she didn't set the timer on her coffee maker last night and couldn't understand why she smelled coffee. She got up, slipped on her robe, headed towards the kitchen, and was surprised to see Grissom standing there facing her oven. She seriously thought he would have left once he woke up. Coming out of the hall, she was shocked when she saw the stocking hanging from her breakfast bar, and quickly walked over to it.

"Grissom, this is gorgeous," she said, running a finger over her name and the butterflies. Her emotions were beginning to overwhelm her. She couldn't recall ever having a stocking this beautiful or even having a stocking at all for Christmas. "But why? You already brought me a gift."

At the catch in her voice, Grissom turned around to see Sara admiring the stocking and on the verge of tears. "You know that Santa always brings stockings along with gifts for Christmas, don't you?"

She met his gaze and a few tears fell from her eyes. He watched as she removed the stocking and sat with it on the sofa, her fingers continuously running over her name stopping only to wipe at her eyes.

He quickly placed the cinnamon rolls in the oven, set the timer, and sat next to her on the sofa. "Oh honey, I didn't mean to upset you."

She looked up at him with tears spilling down her cheeks. "I've never had a Christmas stocking before."

He reached a hand up and tenderly brushed away her falling tears.

Sara continued to finger the stocking without acknowledging Grissom's actions. "Thank you so much for this Grissom," she said indicating the stocking. "And not just for the stocking, but last night as well. I can't tell you how much it all means to me."

"You're very welcome, Sara." He brushed away a few more of her trickling tears and let his hands rest on her arms. "No more crying now okay?" he said softly. "It's Christmas. There's no crying on Christmas." He got up from the sofa, moved the stocking to the coffee table, and took her hands in his to help her up. "Come on, it's time for breakfast."

After the two ate their breakfast of gooey cinnamon rolls and Greg's special coffee, Grissom began to pack all the leftover items he had brought. Walking to the door, he stopped and turned to Sara. "Um, do you have any plans for the day at all? Will you be going anywhere later?"

"What?" Sara asked with raised eyebrows. "Why?"

"I'm just wondering." He pointed to the Christmas tree, "Will you promise me you won't open your presents or go through you stocking until later tonight?"

"Uh, okay. I'll wait," she said totally confused. "I wasn't planning on going anywhere."

"Great." He smiled at Sara's expression and pulled his keys out of his jacket pocket. "Oh, and it looks like Santa brought you a present," he said pointing to her Christmas tree.

Before Sara had a chance to utter a word, he was out the door. She stared at her closed door for a few seconds and turned back towards her living room and looked under the tree. Sure enough, there was another present under tree. It was a huge red bag with cute little snowmen adorning it. In shock, she slowly walked back to her sofa and sat down. "Why is he doing this?" she asked her empty apartment. She picked up the stocking he brought for her, ran her hand over her name once more and went to put it back where Grissom had hung it earlier. She then went to take a shower and get dressed.

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tbc


	6. Chapter 6

Thanks for the reviews. I'm glad everyone is enjoying the story. :)

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Hours later, Sara was curled up on her sofa watching _It's a Wonderful Life_, after realizing Grissom left it in her DVD player. Her mood had brightened considerably since the same time yesterday. All of it, she realized, was due to Grissom. She smiled at the thought of having fallen asleep while watching the movie last night and waking up to find Grissom asleep with his head on hers, her head on his chest and his arm around her. The thought brought a warmth to her she hadn't felt in a while and she decided that maybe these months apart were what both of them needed. The chime of her doorbell broke through her thoughts. She stopped the movie and went to her door.

"Merry Christmas Sara!" exclaimed Grissom, as soon as the door was opened. Like before he was wearing a Santa hat and had grocery bags in his hands.

"Merry Christmas Grissom." She held the door open for him and grabbed a bag from his hand. "Where would you like me to set this down?"

"Go ahead and just stuff it into the refrigerator." While she was busy, he went to her tree, placed another gift under it, and went back to the living room. He started rummaging around through one of the bags he set on the coffee table and pulled out a Santa hat, some CDs, and a few DVDs.

Sara joined Grissom in the living room. "What's with all the bags?"

"Here, put this on," he said while handing her the Santa hat, totally ignoring her question.

"Grissom…"

He grinned at her as she reluctantly put on the hat.

"Grissom, why are you here again and what's with the bags?"

"Well, I…I just brought some stuff I thought you needed."

"Oh?" She looked at the clock on her wall. "Shouldn't you be at home sleeping right now? You're going to be exhausted tonight."

"I told you last night that I took Christmas off didn't I?

"Yeah," she said slightly confused. "But yesterday was the day you took off. You never went in to work. But you have to work tonight."

"No I don't. I took tonight off as well."

"What? You never take the holiday off. In all the years I've known you, you've always worked Christmas Eve _and_ Christmas Day."

He shrugged in response. "I guess I just never had someplace to be before." He looked at her in the eyes. "This year I did."

Sara stared at him in total astonishment. "You did?"

"Yes." He reached up and fixed the hat on Sara's head. "There, that's better. You look cute wearing that hat."

Sara beamed at Grissom's comment. "Thanks. So do you," she said laughing as she fixed his hat. "So what's on the agenda? Are we just going to be lazy and watch Christmas movies all day?" she asked, thumbing through the movies Grissom set out on her coffee table.

"Maybe." He gave her a playful grin. "I do have a surprise for you though. It will be here a little later."

"Grissom," she said, getting a little worried.

"What?" he asked laughing. He walked over to the tree. "Come on, it's time for you to open presents."

She still didn't know why Grissom was really in her apartment. For six months Sara hardly said a word to him, and he to her. Then last night he showed up at her door and then came back today. He was acting different, very different.

She reluctantly walked over and sat on the floor by the tree. She was about to reach for a present, when she felt Grissom's hand on her arm. "Not yet. You're supposed to go through your stocking first."

"Who says?" she laughed.

He sat down next to her and held out the stocking. "Me." He looked at her sheepishly. "That's how we always did it in my family."

She looked up at him and held his gaze for a few seconds. "Okay," she said quietly, understanding that he was sharing with her a special tradition he had while growing up.

He gave her an almost sad, half smile in return.

She took the stocking from him and spent the next five minutes going through it. When she finished thanking him for everything in it, she placed it next to her and asked, "Is it time for presents yet?"

"You sound like a child," he said laughing. "So…why don't you open that big bag first?"

As she went for the bag, she noticed there was a present under the tree that wasn't there after Grissom left earlier that morning, and it looked very familiar. She stopped and picked up the new present to look at the tag. _Merry Christmas Grissom! From Sara_. "Why is this here? I thought you would have opened it by now."

"It wasn't Christmas when I received it. And I wanted to wait until I was with you to open it."

"How did…" she began, then stopped and shook her head. He was beginning to confuse her. "Well, go ahead open it then."

She tried to hand the package to Grissom, but he wouldn't take it. "No." He smiled at her reaction. "Open yours first."

"Grissom," she said, pretty close to whining. "I already went through my stocking. Open your present."

He couldn't help but crack up at the sound of Sara's voice. "Boy, you really _d_o sound like a child." And at the pouting look she gave him, he continued, "You better open that bag quick."

She placed his gift back under the tree and pulled out the bag, reading the tag. "From Santa Claus?"

"I told you he brought a gift didn't I?

She beamed at him, not remembering the last time she received a gift that was from 'Santa Claus'. Removing the red and green tissue paper, she found a cuddly, fuzzy, tan, teddy bear with a pink nose, blue eyes and a black velvet bow on its neck. "Oh how sweet."

"I think Santa knows you're too old for stuffed animals, but he probably couldn't resist it. But…with the way you're acting…" He let the sentence hang and watched adoringly as Sara pulled the bear out and immediately hugged it. He couldn't keep the smile from forming on his face. He could imagine Sara with that reaction as a little girl receiving the same gift.

"I love him; he's so cute, cuddly, and lovable." She knelt in front of Grissom and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, smiling at his shocked expression. "Thank you Santa." She sat back down and continued to hug the bear.

She wouldn't tell anyone, but the truth was there were times when she wished she had something to hug besides her pillow. Times when she was alone at night during thunderstorms or like yesterday before Grissom arrived. The bear was perfect. And she couldn't help but notice the bear's eyes were the same shade of blue as Grissom's.

"Are you going to open up your other present, or should I just take it back?" he joked, when she wouldn't put down the bear.

She pouted at him and then set the bear down next to her stocking. Instead of grabbing her other gift, she grabbed Grissom's instead and handed it to him. "Your turn."

"Okay." He took the gift and carefully unwrapped it. He pulled out a 6 x 6 glass shadowbox with a blue and black butterfly mounted inside. He used to have a similar one hanging on the wall in his office, but after Ecklie stormed out of his office and slammed the door shut a few months ago, it fell to the floor and broke into pieces, the butterfly unrecoverable. "Oh Sara, you shouldn't have," he said completely taken aback.

"I was walking down the hall a few months ago when I heard glass shattering from inside your office. When I got near, your door was open, you were gone, and I saw the glass and butterfly in pieces on your floor. I knew how much that butterfly meant to you." She met his eyes. "I know it's not the same species, but…"

"It's perfect," he said cutting her off. He scooted over to her and gave her a hug. "Thank you," he said tenderly.

She gave him a shy smile. "You're welcome."

Grissom took one more look at the butterfly and set it down next to him. He pointed to the tree. "Go ahead."

She retrieved the last package from under the tree and read its tag, her eyes stopping on the word Love. She had never known him write that word. From birthday cards and gifts to Christmas cards and gifts, he would always write 'From' or just put his name. He never wrote the word love, not even on things for Catherine and they were almost best friends. She lifted her eyes to meet his.

Grissom knew exactly what Sara was thinking the moment their eyes met. "It's true Sara."

She couldn't respond. She was too overcome with emotions. She never thought that the words 'Gil' or 'Grissom' and 'love' would ever be next to each other on something he gave her. She unwrapped the gift and after pushing back the tissue paper, she pulled out a soft, pale blue knit scarf and a matching hat. Underneath those, she saw a small black box. She set the scarf and hat down and opened up the box. She held up on her fingers, a sterling silver necklace with a delicate open-heart pendent with cuts etched throughout. "Gil, this is beautiful." She tried to unclasp the necklace to put it on, but her hands wouldn't stop shaking.

Grissom, seeing Sara's dilemma, stood up and walked over to her. "Here," he took the necklace from her hands. "Let me help you." She stood up, back to him and he draped it around her neck and fastened it.

Sara turned around to face Grissom. "This is the best Christmas I've had in a long time. It's all because of you. Thank you so much, for everything" she said, her voice shaking as she finished the last sentence.

"You're welcome, Sara." He pulled her into a hug and could feel her breath hitching as she began to cry softly. He held her until she seemed to calm down. He pulled back to look at her, leaving his hands around her waist. "Are you okay?" he asked tenderly.

She nodded and began wiping her eyes.

"Are you sure?" he asked quietly.

She nodded again.

Upon confirmation from her second nod, did he then release his hold on her. He gave her a smile. "Okay. I've got a few things to do before ev…" He abruptly stopped realizing he almost gave away his surprise. He started over again, "I brought over ingredients to make hot apple cider. Want to help me make it?"

"Sure," she said, while picking up their discarded wrapping paper. "Let me throw all of this away first and I'll meet you in the kitchen."

"Okay." Grissom headed to the kitchen, making a detour to the living room, to put on a Christmas CD.

Sara started throwing all the wrapping paper into a trash bag, but stopped when she came across the tag from the present Grissom gave her. She read the words _Love Gil_, and very carefully removed the tag from paper. She quickly went to her room to put it on her dresser. It was something she wanted to keep forever.

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tbc


	7. Chapter 7

Here's the final chapter. Thanks for reading.

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A half hour later, Sara was holding a lid in her hand with her face almost inside a pot of apple cider. "This smells so good. I can't wait to try it."

"Well, it won't be ready for another hour or so. Why don't we watch one of the movies I brought?"

"Sure." Sara placed the lid back on the pot and followed Grissom to the living room.

Grissom picked up _White Christmas_ from the table and held it up for Sara. "Let's watch this one."

She laughed. "I hadn't pegged you for a musical type person."

"There's a lot you don't know about me," he said somewhat seriously, but with a smirk.

"Here," Sara grabbed the movie. "I'll go put in on. Go sit down."

Sara put in the movie and sat away from Grissom on other end of the sofa.

The movie started playing and Grissom looked over at Sara.

"What?" Sara asked, feeling Grissom's gaze.

"Why don't you come and sit over here."

"I'm fine here."

"But it's lonely over here," he said playfully.

Sara just looked at him with raised eyebrows and turned her attention back to the movie, shaking her head. She couldn't figure out what had gotten in to him.

"Okay," he sighed. He got up and sat down a little too close to Sara.

"What are you…" she began but then stopped when he put his arm around her.

"That's better."

As Sara snuggled up to him when he pulled her closer, she definitely knew things were changing between the two of them.

An hour and a half into the movie, the doorbell rang. Grissom looked at the clock on the wall and smiled.

Sara pulled out of Grissom's arms and got up. "Would you mind stopping the movie until I come back?"

"No problem."

She walked to the door and opened it half-way. Standing outside were Greg, Brass, Nick, Catherine and Warrick. All were holding Christmas gifts.

"Merry Christmas," they all cheered.

Sara could say nothing. Her mouth was hanging open in complete surprise.

Grissom came up behind her and opened the door all the way. He looked at Sara with a wide smile as he took in the expression on her face. "Come on in guys. You can put the gifts under the tree and help yourself to some hot apple cider in the kitchen. There are cups in the bag on the counter."

Sara looked to Grissom as they moved from the door and closed it. "You did this?"

"Yep."

"I don't understand."

"They all missed celebrating the holiday with you. They wanted to throw a little party before start of shift tonight. It wasn't the same around the lab with you gone."

"I wasn't gone, just working at a different time."

"It wasn't the same. It's not the same. Sara, since the day you left for swing shift, we've been counting the days until you'd be coming back. We all miss you." He grabbed her hands and held them, waiting for her to look up at him. When she did, he offered, "I miss you."

"I miss everyone too. But I miss you the most."

Grissom smiled in response and it was a smile she had never seen before. A smile she wanted to remember forever.

Before Sara knew what was going on, Grissom pulled her close and his lips were on hers.

"Merry Christmas, Sara," he said smiling when they finally pulled apart.

Sara struggled to breathe and not topple over. Her entire body felt like mush. She was finally able to meet his eyes a few seconds later. "Merry Christmas, Gil."

Grissom leaned towards Sara again and gave her another kiss. When he felt Sara returning the kiss, he deepened it.

Grissom broke them apart a minute later, remembering they had visitors. "We'd better go join the party."

"If you say so," Sara replied breathlessly.

He smiled, dropped his hands to her waist, and guided her to the kitchen to join in on the festivities.

The End.

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I hope you all enjoyed the story. I know I definitely had fun writing it all this week when I was bored at work. Though I must admit, some of the sad parts were at bit difficult to write. Let me just say I was glad I was alone for a majority of the time I was writing it. LOL

As always, I love reviews. I thrive on them. :)


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